Wanted To, But Didn't
by LostToStardust
Summary: There is so much Kousaku could have done in his life, so much he wanted to, but didn't. -Cross-posted from Ao3-


There was so much Kousaku Kawajiri could do with his life, so much he wanted to do, but he didn't. It was as simple as that. Anytime he thought about acting upon something, his courage would leave his body and he would freeze up.

When his wife took out her frustrations about their marriage- be it the what-ifs, could-have-beens, or the lack of anything resembling romance or excitement- on him in increasingly petty ways, he wanted to tell her that he still very much loved her but had a difficult time expressing it. He wanted to make it work, not just for the sake of their son, theirs as well.

But he didn't, so petty and passive-aggressive she remained.

When the landlord regularly mocked and ridiculed Kousaku to his face about renting a home he could barely afford, he wanted to argue about how he wanted his family to be comfortable and safe. He wanted to add how thuggish and crude he thought the landlord was to boot, sincerely hoping that he didn't act that way all the time.

But he didn't, so the landlord continued to mock Kousaku.

When Kousaku saw his boss passing by his desk at work, he wanted to stop him and ask about the management position opening up that would pay much better than his current one. After all, he had been with the company for years. He knew he was qualified, he knew he was capable. All he had to do was tell his boss he was interested.

But he didn't, so a lowly office worker Kousaku remained.

And so, on an evening like any other, Kousaku walked home from his job that didn't pay that very much, back to his home he could barely afford, where no doubt his wife had cooked up some new way to punish him for merely existing, when a man pushed through the crowd. He was injured and bleeding, taking shaky breaths as he stumbled forward. The man locked eyes with Kousaku and took a few more steps forward. Seeing the man was near collapse, Kousaku grabbed the man's shoulders and held him upright.

"A-Are you alright?!" He asked dumbfounded and winced at the stupidity of the question. Of course the man wasn't alright; he was missing a bloody hand for God's sake!

The man glanced over him as though he was sizing him up before muttering, "You're close enough…" The man started at walking by again, this time grabbing Kousaku's arm and commanding, "Come with me. _Now._ "

It was clear the man was delusional. Kousaku wanted say _No, you follow ME!_ and take the man to the hospital.

But he didn't, so the injured man dragged Kousaku down the street.

The man stopped in front of Cinderella, the beauty salon that had opened a few weeks ago. Kousaku must have passed by it quite a few times before, but had never really given it any thought. At least, not until there was a strange injured man was pulling him inside. There, a woman, the presumed owner of the salon, sighed with a monotone voice, "Sorry Sweetie, but I'm on break. Could you come ba-"

She stopped when she saw the state of the people who walked in and took a step forward to help the injured man. Suddenly the air grew cold and the woman retreated in alarm.

"There are rumors about Cinderella, you know? They say the people who work there can make you look like anything. I suppose seeing your ability explains the rumor, doesn't it?" The man dragged Kousaku forward as he said, "I want you to make me look like…" He gestured to Kousaku, expectantly.

"K-Kousaku Kawajiri." He supplied in surprise.

"You're him, aren't you?" The woman hissed, "You're the one who killed that poor kid."

"I see news travels fast, in this little _community_." The man let out a sigh. "This day is just one disaster after another..."

What? Did these two know each other? Did this man really murder someone? Is that why he wanted to look like Kousaku? He wanted answers. He wanted desperately to ask what was going on.

But he didn't, so Kousaku remained in the dark.

The man rushed to take off his own suit jacket and shoes. He looked to Kousaku and pointed.

"Strip." The man commanded.

Kousaku wanted to refuse the ridiculous threat. He wanted to subdue the man and have the woman call the police. It wouldn't be that hard, seeing how injured and scrawny the man was.

But he didn't, so Kousaku was stripped down to his underwear.

The man then put on Kousaku's suit with surprising dexterity for a man missing a hand. When he finished, he forced Kousaku to sit on a chair in front of the vanity.

"Now then…" The man smirked and Kousaku suddenly felt as though he had been hit on the gut with a cannon ball. He coughed and spat out blood. Kousaku's vision doubled and blurred. There was a faraway noise. The woman screaming, maybe? He glanced down and saw a gaping wound in his abdomen. _How did that happen?_ He wondered right before slumping forward and his heart stopped beating forever.

There was so much Kousaku Kawajiri could have done with his life, so much he wanted to do.

But he didn't.


End file.
